Being Dyspraxic “Never let a label define you but instead take ownership of it.”

1. Being Dyspraxic

“Never let a label define you but instead take ownership of it.”

Dyspraxia is a developmental disorder, neurological in basis which affects motor coordination. It causes issues in both gross (large) motor movements and also fine movements.  That said people with dyspraxia typically have issues with legible hand writing, hand eye coordination and learning / executing a precise sequence of movements. In addition it can cause issues with balance, speech, sensory intergration (over / under sensitivity to certain stimuli) and spatial awareness. It is a developmental condition but is also one for life. 

In short - It’s not so much of a “can’t do” more of a “practice makes perfect” issue. 

Sounds intreguing doesn’t it? 

 You might not have heard of it but, more people than you think have the condition. “That kid” at school that was an absolute bomb scare in PE,  last to be picked for team sports? Remember?  I was that generally awkward, gawky clumsy kid.

 “Clumsiness” is a term banded about a bit in reference to dyspraxia, I think the term itself is clumsy in nature and sometimes gives an unhelpful comedic connotation to dyspraxia. Sometimes, however it is good for illustration. 

On reflection growing up, I became defined by the label. I was embarrassed by it. I think that it stemmed more from a lack of understanding of the condition and me not being able to find the words or access information on how to explain it to peers. (My teenage years were in the era of dial up internet). I was of the belief that I was “thick”, which was reinforced by others pointing out things like my poor ability to do my shoe laces for example. I couldn’t take notes off the whiteboard quickly enough and  tended to be in the lower set for most of my classes. I was a very practically minded individual without the physical execution. 

Dyspraxia became a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy for me “ah well there’s no point doing that because I will fail anyway...”. I became quite withdrawn, missing out on activities my mates were getting involved in. I wasn’t “strong” at anything in particular and had no external hobbies other then computer games. I felt like I was the only one although I had this term and what it meant to me. Quite late on to my secondary education a friend of mine approached and said “you have dyspraxia, don’t you?” ... I was shocked and replied “no” followed quickly by “how do you know.” He told me his brother had it and noticed things in me. There was a sense of relief - someone within my friend group with an understanding made all the difference. 

Academically - I left school with reasonable grades without an idea what I was going to do. I wanted to apply for the police. I had always wanted to to be in the police and couldn’t think of a better job. I had family in the service and I remember being gifted a real police hat” it was far to big for a 7 year old and had to be stuffed with copious amounts of kitchen roll. I liked the idea of being out and about, blue lights and catching criminals. I was given guidance from a teacher  that I should reconsider as it was something I shouldn’t get my heart set on. On reflection I don’t think the advice was intended to be mean spirited.  I picked up an application pack from a local police office regardless of advice given. I began to read through the associated literature “Physically demanding role and must undertake a physical test” Massive attack of the self fulfilling prophecy resulted and I didn’t  apply at this stage. No way I could get through an assessment day - or so I thought.

I went to university and studied Psychology. Whilst I was learning about others behaviour - I was learning about myself too. I was fascinated with my studies. I wasn’t “thick”, I didn’t have it put on a display or put myself in a situation where my difficulties were highlighted. I had a few jobs upon leaving university however it wasn’t the opportunity filled oasis that the degree initially promised. I applied for a few jobs however the stock reply was “over qualified, under experienced”. 

I did some more training and worked in Mental Health. I enjoyed it however it became more challenging. Funding cuts to services hit us hard and it was time to move on. One demoralising night shift later I found myself filling out an online application for the police. “ I will use it as a practice shot” I remember telling myself so I wouldn’t become disheartened when I would inevitably be rejected.  Time went on I became further and further through the process. Suddenly, I had a start date and a place at Police College. Self doubt was creeping back in but this time I had more determination. 

Police College came and went and no doubt the experience deserves its own future blog. The Passout Parade was my prize. I had done what “I couldn’t” and dispelled some personal  beliefs. 

There is a few reasons why I have taken to writing a blog, the primary one being awareness and awareness in a service where challenges can present. Remember Dyspraxia is a label - a term for a group of symptoms. It doesn’t have to hold you back however it can mould you.  It is not a belief system. 

Be who you want to be. If you have to work harder to achieve it then you will appreciate it more.

Still intrigued? Visit www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk for more information.